So many of us get caught up in being this or that, proving how much we know, putting down other perspectives, that we forget what it's all about. This following article acts as a reminder for those of us who get to caught up in ourselves - relax, enjoy and keep going. - Adam James McColl

Since beginning training over a year ago, with Adam McColl, many perspectives have passed through me. I have found myself in awe of techniques, blinded by ego, discouraged by inability, sidetracked by inhibitions, but most importantly distracted by my perspective. Regardless, and to my surprise, I have, on occasion, noticed Taijutsu trying to express itself through my body and affecting my outlook on life.

Recently, while I was visiting family in Toronto, I was fortunate to be given the opportunity to study with Andrew Mah and Ed Brown, who have been planting seeds in my brothers. This was one of many new beginnings for me. The effectiveness of Andrew and the gentle flow of Ed's body was impressive, but what really touched me was their openness and genuine concern for my growth. I felt that they really tried to give me something I could take away with me however, I admit to having no idea what this is...seeds?

The present theme of my training is that of surrender - begin where I am. The essential need to train, practice, and study outside of the dojo is now quite evident. With this in mind, again I doubt myself; can I persevere? This doubt is just another manifestation of looking too far ahead. Being present, with as much of my attention as possible, appears to be the only way.

Among the other people who have inspired me is, of course, Hatsumi Soke; in his writings and body movements. Mark O'Brien; who takes the time to come out from Japan and share what he has been exposed to. The greatest inspiration though, has come from my training partners. I have seen their growth before my very eyes; relationships flourish. I have observed their recovery from physical and mental defeat; and it has never ceased to amaze me that they will, willingly subject themselves to physical pain so that I may be given the opportunity to learn/improve (THANKS!)

Then there is Adam, whose quality of instruction and understanding I quite often take for granted. His hard work and intentional suffering is something I hope, one day, to live up to. He has taken the time to try to understand who I am and has presented the art in a form I can perceive. However, he has made sure that it is always just beyond my reach.

While reflecting on what I have written and trying to come to some conclusion, I have to wonder why I even began to write. This, in itself, speaks volumes on how the training in Taijutsu overflows into all aspects of ones life. The act of formulating my thoughts has also caused another shift in my perspective:

Although I can not jump over my own knees and it is absurd to try to kiss my own elbow... I can continue.

The article was originally published in the July issue of BUDO KAIDEN (Bujinkan Vancouver Dojo newsletter - yes I know an obvious plug :>). Every one that read the article enjoyed it for its simple, direct message. As it was received so well there, Adam thought that a wider audience might also enjoy it. If you have any comments on this article, or would like to know about the Bujinkan Vancouver Dojo/Dojo newsletter, e-mail: amccoll@direct.ca. Chris Emery studies Budo Taijutsu and the craft of music.