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6/25/2002 6:21:31 PM

random recollections from september 11th
note: i didn't start my blog until november of last year and i hadn't written a september 11th post. obviously, i, like all new yorkers, had their life change on that day. this is what i remember.

  • i got up early, well, early for me. i was snoozing to the news on ny1 — i sleep with the tv on so i always wake up to the news — listening for my cue to get out of bed, the 8:21 a.m. weather report. bright, sunny and unseasonably warm. i was in the shower when the first plane hit.

  • while drying off in my room, ny1 was showing the smoking hole in the north tower. they were speculating that a small plane, perhaps a charter plane, had hit it.

  • i'd worn makeup that day and left my hair curly. i put mascara on and for once in my life i got my eyeliner to go on straight, giving me slightly siouxsie-ish eyes. i kept getting dressed for work, thinking nothing of the unfolding news story. i was dressed all in black, with my doc marten's on my feet. i looked good, i felt good, it was a beautiful day.

  • i walked through madison square park, listening to my mp3 player. there were people standing on 5th avenue staring at the smoke. they didn't know what was happening and shuffled about staring. i had just seen the news and wanted to say, "a charter plane hit the towers, but things should be ok..." instead i kept walking and got a bagel and coffee at the deli.

  • our office was on 25th and broadway. my window faced the world trade center.

    when i walked into the office, john conger, andy, laura (who was then about 5 months pregnant) and val were sitting on the wtc side of the room, listening to the radio. john asked if i knew what'd happened. i told him what i knew and he said i was wrong.

    a second plane had hit.

    i wasn't worried yet.

  • my brother flew a lot, so i called him to make sure he was ok. he was in seattle, still in bed when i called. (later he would tell me how glad he was that i called him. he'd be unable to reach me later.)

  • in 1993 i worked at a not-for-profit housed in five world trade. i was on my way to the ladies room when the floor shook. i stepped into a doorway. i remember feeling foolish, because you're only supposed to do that in an earthquake and those never happen in manhattan. i walked back to our office to be greeted with intermittently dead phones and electric outages. about two hours later, we evacuated our office in the dark. we went to a local bar and drank frozen pina coladas until we were good and drunk.

    the towers had been attacked once before. i felt they would make it through this one.

  • i was insanely worried for my co-workers who hadn't gotten in yet. i thought they might be stuck on the train or worse. i worried about matt and rich who were both over 20 minutes late.

  • we hit the internet looking for info as the radio droned on in the background.

    there were rumored reports of random car bombs going off throughout manhattan. the pentagon was hit. congress was evacuated. i started to worry.

  • i called and woke melissa and myke. late risers, they wouldn't have found out about what was going on until the early afternoon.

  • i told my friend via instant messenger that the towers would never fall. when the first tower fell, she im'ed me back, "they'll never fall, hunh?"

    i told her i couldn't deal right then.

  • everyone in the office kept gravitating towards the windows and the fire escape. when the first tower fell, matt flew across the room to the fire escape. i'd never seen him move so fast in my life.

  • i couldn't watch the tower fall. i knew if i saw it fall, i wouldn't be able to deal. i needed to be able to help people and organize things if needed, so i turned my back to my window.

  • i couldn't / didn't cry. i shed a few tears of fear and frustration but never had the heartfelt, let your feelings out kinda cry that i wanted to.

  • i had val (laura watched) knitting with me. i was making a chemo toque for charity and was trying to maintain a sense of calm. val was upset and i was trying to get her mind off what she couldn't control. we knitted for a bit trying to calm down.

  • matt and i made the executive decision to shut the new york office down and get the fuck out of there. i called around for hotel rooms in case people wouldn't be able to make it home. they were all booked solid. fortunately, everyone found a way to get back home.

  • after we left the office, we went to dewey's flatiron. we were hoping to get fed, but it was crowded and understaffed. the trains were working again, so matt, rich and rachel (his wife), decided to go home to brooklyn. our group had greatly dwindled over the course of the afternoon. tourists were snapping pics along 5th avenue when i decided to go home. i walked down to the hospital on first avenue to donate blood. i'm ab+ (a rare blood type). i got turned away.

  • i needed to be numb by now. the delis were packed and the cash machines were out of money. people were stocking up on supplies. i bought beer and potato chips.

  • i could barely get to my building. the police academy is down the street and they had cordoned off entire sidewalks. i didn't have to show id to get to my home, but it was difficult navigating through the masses of people.

  • i called my room mate's cellphone for the first time in my life. i didn't know where he was and wanted to make sure he wasn't dead (he's a photographer and might have gotten the urge to go downtown and take pics...) he was safe, though he sounded a little out of sorts when he answered.

  • i watched cnn and ny1 while im'ing my friends. if i didn't have the internet as backup communication, i think i would have gone insane.

  • i told my brother to contact my parents. they have no phone so its hard to reach them. i figured they would page him to find out about me. they remembered that i use to work in the trade center.

  • i drank a lot that night, then worried cause i thought they might evacuate the manhattan that night. i slept with my clothes on, just in case.

  • the next day, manhattan was a ghost town. you didn't want to look anybody in the face for fear of what you'd see.

  • i spent the next few days emailing and calling people i knew to make sure they were alive. it was a fairly short list and fortunately I got in touch with everyone,.

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